Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mom + Baby yoga

Yesterday I went to my first Mom + Baby yoga class. Heiko was sooooo good. He was especially good because he wanted to nurse while the other mums did ab work. Heh. In truth I'm pretty eager to get my abs back. And by that I don't mean a six-pack (though that would be nice), I just mean some modicum of core strength. I've been feeling really floppy, and I was interested to note that in the days following my first postpartum run, by far the most sore part of my body was my abdominal area. But let's be serious, everything hurt.

I didn't know what to expect from the class, but it was quite lovely. We let the babies lie on some blankets while we did our active practice, and we periodically did some baby time. We also used the babies as weights sometimes. Heiko seemed to like it, so I'll cross my fingers that his tolerance will continue.

I've written about yoga a few times already on this blog (herehere and here). I still resist some of the yoga-isms, but I have to say that I really love it. I actually was all signed up for a teacher training, but then I ended up being pregnant and the timing was bad. It is still something I'd like to do one day, but we'll see. First step: abs. Next step: handstands. Then: who knows?

Monday, May 28, 2012

Baby brain and new projects

It's true what they say about baby brain. I didn't have it in pregnancy, but now... oh boy. Something about the raging hormones and the sleep deprivation I suppose. Sometimes it is hard to simply string together words into coherent sentences. When I called my family doctor last week to get Heiko registered as a new patient, I actually gave her the wrong last name for him (I reversed the hyphenation). I don't even know my son's name! I have no idea what month it is! HALP!

I have been reflecting on this lately since I am scheduled to go to an academic conference in July. It should be great, BIRS is amazeballs, and the math should be right up my alley (I'm even listed as a reference in the "objectives" section here). Things happen at Banff: questions asked, problems solved, connections made. But, but! I can't think!! CANNOT THINK!  I haven't thought about math in months, and I'm worried that I'll be too wrapped up in the where and what of Heiko to concentrate or even really participate in the workshop. Someone asked me for the title of my PhD and I really, really had to think hard about it.

So the decision on this matter is pending. In the meantime, I'm hoping to start some new projects to stimulate my little brain. I know, I know, isn't having a six-week old baby project enough? Well yes, it is, but also no, it isn't. I'm going a little crazy, especially as P is trying to get out more to do his own work. So here are some things I am thinking about doing:

- actually learning how to take/make good photos (emphasis on the "make": unfortunately I think this may have to do more with figuring out the post-processing... something I don't really do).

- reading some books that aren't about babies, recommendations warmly welcomed

- getting back to running and yoga  (I have already been back to running and a little bit of yoga... topics for a later post)

- [......this blog......] This is a bit of a question mark. I'm hoping to find a new loose theme or focus for this blog, that doesn't revolve 100% around Heiko (even when it feels like my life does!). Remember my keep-a-sketchbook resolution? Well, I never even cracked it open. Somehow it is easier for me to make this blog into my sketchbook of sorts. So I guess I'm saying "watch this space," even if it just means more regular recordings of the items above. Plus Heiko news, of course!
Here he is, reflecting on stripes.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

On sleep

Or the lack thereof. Some people around here are sleeping, anyway.

In fact, the sleep thing is actually going pretty well, with Mr. H usually sleeping in 3 or 4 hour chunks at night. But every now and then (e.g. last night) we have one of those nights where Heiko wants to feed every two hours. And by that I mean two hours from the beginning of a feed to the next one. I need to figure out how to nap: why am I so terrible at this?

Friday, May 18, 2012

It's been a while... am I mom enough?

Things here have been hectic. Between getting our house ready to sell, then making the wacky emotional decision not to sell the house (!!!), plus visitors and the approaching "6 week crying peak," things have been busy around here.

Needless to say I have a lot on my mind these days. With the passing of my first mothers day, I've been thinking a lot about the idea of motherhood, and parenthood in general. There is a lot that I wasn't ready for. I wasn't ready for the worry and anxiety ("I'm going to break my baby!"), I wasn't ready to cry everyday, or the crazy amount of laundry and the to-do list that never gets to-done. But perhaps most of all, I wasn't ready for the opinions and advice on offer from myriad sources, and how sensitive I'd be to them (yes I'm enjoying my nightly Guinness, thank you). I think this reflects the larger picture of how political this motherhood business has become.

There is a lot to be said about this, and I'm not going to get very far in this post. Last week's Time Magazine cover certainly received a lot of attention. Attachment parenting has more or less appealed to me, but not everyone is on board. Indeed as the Time cover suggests, some believe that AP is a backward step for women. There is a lot to think about here, including my own judgements of women who are practicing vastly different parenting styles. Yes, there is more to say and this seems like an awkward place to leave off, but right now it is time to feed my baby, make lunch, and leave the house. To be continued....

Monday, May 7, 2012

The most amazing meeting

I feel like I'm over-using the word 'amazing' these days, but I don't seem to be able to help it. It is the best word I can think of to describe Heiko's first meeting with great-grandma Betty. She can't see or walk at this point, but she can still hold a baby, just as she held me over 30 years ago now. Seeing her face light up when she held my little man really was so very beautiful. So here is Heiko, at three weeks old, and Betty, at 92. Heiko was happier than he looks in this picture, by the way.